having my Cake, eating it – and not counting every last calorie

ants begone! September 7, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — c*devotchka @ 10:02 am
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dreamt that i brushed the soft underbelly of my right arm on some small green, elongated seeds at the corner of a table and thought nothing of it. except that most of the seeds latched on to my arm and didn’t drop off. and to my horror, they morphed into parasites! they whipped out pincers and drilled into my arms and got into my system. it felt like small pinches when they bored into my skin. i watched, frozen, as the parasites undulated under my skin. literally, my skin was crawling.

some tried to bite their way out, but this time – they weren’t as small as rice grains, they’re fatter and longer. they pushed up against my skin with their ominous fat, green tubular bodies bulging, threatening to burst through. when one finally did, i woke up.

and thought to myself, i gotta do something about the ants at home.

the pinching i felt? probably from the ants that strayed onto our bed. the day after our first night in this home, i realised that the ants were a serious problem when i saw 4 strolling casually across the highway of white bed linen. 4 strolling ants = a giant anthill somewhere.

on any given day, in any other house, i’m usually quite forgiving and let tiny working creatures pass. save for the evil arthropods, cockroaches. i’d throw my slipper at them from a metre away, throw the slipper away, then wait for Ravi to return to pick up the carcass of a smashed roach.

but i can’t let this pass cos i can’t leave anything out unattended. not my goreng pisang, not my chocolates which i savour leisurely over an hour, not even the q-tip which has cleaned out the insides of my ear.

i’m not keen on following the expressway of ants at the top of our wall to find the X which marks the home of gabazillions of ants, then pouring vinegar all over it. i wouldn’t be able to sleep for months (ok, fine, days), hearing the screams of corroded ants, all 6 melted legs shivering in the air, begging for mercy.

that’s right, i’ve double standards when it comes to cockroaches.

i just want the ants to stay away. don’t collect $200 or my chocolates, just pass Go. go the neighbour’s or someone else’s sugar jar. i took a tip from my granduncle whose landed property does not have a single ant. not a single one in the week we stayed there, even with bowls of cat food out.

we’ve put fresh red chillies around the house. including one on our bed frame.

only 12 hours later and the number of ants walking around has reduced from the usual sighting of at least 20/30 to just 2. 2 lone ants! probably the only 2 ants with some kind of recessive gene which doesn’t trigger negative sensations with chillies.

not a big fan of insecticide, so i took a look at what people were suggesting online.

  1. Purchase pipe tobacco from your local store.
  2. Soak it in warm water overnight.
  3. Decant the liquid and throw away the soggy tobacco.
  4. Pour the liquid over the anthill – they overdose on nicotine and die.

that’s right folks, they overdose on nicotine AND DIE! DIE! DIE!

  1. Follow the trail of ants to determine where they come into the house.
  2. Locate the holes, apply the holes with soap or white glue.

starve em of oxygen folks! let em choke to death! or let em bathe themselves to death!

and when you’re really looking for something creative and ingenious, try entrapment!

  1. Get a shot glass, some salt, and some sugar.
  2. Take your middle finger and put it in the bottom of the shot glass, pour the sugar around your middle finger.
  3. Take the salt and quickly remove your middle finger then pour it in the crater left from your middle finger.
  4. Take the shot glass and find the ant hill.
  5. Put the shot glass down so the open drinking end is on the ground and pull it up. This should leave a small pile of sugar with a salt core.
  6. The ants will find the sugar and begin to eat/transport it into their hill. They will keep doing this until they can no longer taste the sugar, then start to get into the salt, which kills them.

how about good ol’ boiled ants?

  • Find the ant mound, and destroy it using boiling water.

and how about the excitement of finding parts of dead ants all over your house?

  • Put out Cream of Wheat. Don’t cook it first. The ants eat it, it expands, boom!

going by the glee of the authors of some of these creative methods, i’d say these people put salt into snail shells when they were kids, just to see the snail froth and melt away to a very painful death.

think i might try these though.

  • If ants enter the house from the windows, use chalk around the window frame. You will be amazed to see how they move away from any chalk lines!
  • You can also mop the floor with about half liter of water mixed with two to three drops of lavender essential oil. That will keep away ants away, too.
  • Try a natural repellent such as ground or powdered chili, or used coffee grounds. Citrus peel (ground) works well too. They hate the smell of vinegar; make a solution with water to spray around.

vinegar, lemon, bicarbonate soda – my favourite cleaning ingredients might well be more than enough! and lavender! how i love thee!


3 Responses to “ants begone!”

  1. thegrouch Says:

    2 lone ants? SQUISH.

  2. dali Says:

    eh … jangaaaan.

  3. […] on the very bright pink cover of his new book. I thought, “Great, that’s one thought Dali would love to live […]

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