having my Cake, eating it – and not counting every last calorie

threadless count March 8, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — c*devotchka @ 3:03 pm
Tags: , , ,

        day 10

  • weight: 69.5kg
  • breakfast: 1 slice choc cake + 2 wholemeal toasts + leftover lamb curry + leftover spiced beef
  • lunch: chai + 2 crackers with trans fats because i am suicidal
  • dinner: eggplant parmigiana + beef tenderloin in black truffle sauce with ceps mushrooms, potato fondant and crunchy vegetables + crème brûlée (yes, i ate all of that myself)
  • burned: 50 (inefficient) minutes on treadmill + 40 minutes aerobics with George

when i stepped into the gym yesterday with fresh pillow marks still deeply embedded on my face, i hadn’t expected company, much less a cacophony of excited squeals and laughter from a group of women at least twice my age. i was horrified that i was wearing a lame, sleeveless Liverpool t-shirt with 1.5mm armpit stubble for all to see and that actual witnesses to this travesty of civilised living were present.

when i’d politely asked if anybody wanted the 2nd treadmill (because my parents taught me well), a handsome lady told me i was welcome to join their aerobics class.

aerobics class?

are you kidding? i have an entire cranial lobe missing with regards to co-ordination and remembering which foot goes before which. but then, whenever i was in the gym alone, staring at the expansive available space, i had wished we had pilates classes so i could stretch myself to an eternity of pain.

and i’m glad i joined the aerobics class cos it’s fun to kick imaginary assholes, make funny faces because you look retarded in the mirror when bobbing your head to the music, counting the steps before you muster the courage to put one foot forward at the right moment and give that one co-ordinated cycle you just cannot get another try, and laugh with middle-aged women who can’t lift their legs higher than the length of their saggy boobs or just get the steps right no matter what.

and suddenly, after aerobics class, i find that suddenly i’ve found a partner with whom i can go to the market. she also thinks it’s okay to feed me biscuits and cookies even when i’ve refused politely on account of that 12kg i need to lose so i can fit into certain pants without liposuction. it was worse when i saw that the “diet crackers from Malaysia” she insisted i eat with the chai she made, had hydrogenated oils. my parents taught me a little too well – because i ate two of those Crackers of Death.

so, highlight of the day! Threadless is having a sale! i’d agonised over the crazy $10 t-shirt sale because i’d endeavoured to buy only four, but ended up with 10 in the cart. it took me 2 hours to then retrench 5 t-shirts. i’ve never been this indecisive. but i’m pretty happy with the t-shirts i’m gonna be getting in a few weeks.

Threadless - Meat is Murder

 Threadless - Midnight Snack

 Threadless - Marshmallows

Threadless - Soap

 Threadless - Bird in Cage


14 Responses to “threadless count”

  1. your imaginary lesbo gal best friend Says:

    woman, i laughed my ass off reading your entry. you should NEVER NEVER stop writing you geddit! or i’ll personally kick your bouncy ass and force feed you 2 kg worth of kueh lapis. love the t-shirts. think you’re gonna make me lose my resolution of quitting online buying. =( i miss you. j

  2. dali Says:

    awwwww, so touching *touches clavicle* HAHA, the whole point is to entice you to buy Threadless t-shirts. mwahaha *evil laughter fades into background*

    about writing, you know about my “moods”, and i’m only glad when my muses are patient with me and keep coming back once in a while.

  3. waistloss Says:

    Being a BBQ competitor, I love the Meat is Murder T-shirt. I’d love to get one of those and wear it at a contest. This was a great post and it would probably be even better for me if I could keep in my mind how to convert kg into lbs.

    Keep up the good work and thanks for visiting my blog! I hope you and your friends come back often!

  4. dali Says:

    WL > like i said, i love what you’re doing and would NEVER have the guts to post before-after shots of myself!

    frank > thanks! 🙂

  5. Derrick Says:

    Another self gratifying blog about someones life that no-one is really that interested in.

    Maybe you should find something interesting to write about before you go shooting your mouth off on other more interesting and poinient blogs.

  6. Joanna Watts Says:

    Hi, your homepage looks really good and gives great information! Anyway, nice job. Keep it up please!!! My best wishes to you all!

  7. dali Says:

    derrick > awww, are you referring to those bigoted websites run, read and popularised by pea-minded, uneducated a*seholes who don’t research deeply/widely enough or give views that are objective enough to even take seriously? and goodness, surely you meant POIGNANT, cos i’m not sure what POINIENT means, could it mean, “i don’t read enough to even spell a simple word correctly?” and sweetheart, no one’s putting a gun to yer head and forcing you to read my oh.so.glorious blog. feel free to step out of the house, get a whiff of fresh air and enjoy life instead of sitting in your little squeaky chair feeling all bitter about the world.

  8. scooper Says:

    My little brother needs to see the soap. Uhh! He’s 18 and after anytime outside stinks.

  9. […] you exerrrcise (looks at my stomach and my “Meat is Murder.Tasty, Tasty Murder t-shirt“)?” er, not […]

  10. hollywoodheidi Says:

    Hi! I just found this forum and it looks really cool.

    Now, I gotta run off and read some posts. 🙂

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